What exactly is a 3-Ingredient wife, you may be asking. To become one requires that we gain specific input from our Hubsters.
But before I explain what a 3-Ingredient wife is, I want to share why you may want to be one.
When we really want to understand something, we have to apply a mindset action that has been a game-changer for me. We have to “Buy-Into-Why”.
When we buy-into-why, it allows us to see the very big difference between knowing something and understanding it.
I want you to buy-into-why becoming a 3-Ingredient wife can change your world and take a lot of pressure off your shoulders.
I am certain that you can relate to a syndrome that’s easy to get caught up in as a mom and a wife. It’s called the “Be all things to all people” syndrome and we get caught up in it when we say YES to too many things and too many people.
It’s super easy to say yes, yes, yes, when we are tap dancing on top of the world, feeling strong, confident, full of energy and in “got this” mode. Before we even know what’s happening, we’re locked in to those yes, yes, yes’s, not realizing that later we’ll have to say no, no, no. (And for the record, BDP has often tried to show me how to say NO. He will stand facing me and say “Let me show you how you do it; you hold your lips like this and then your tongue goes here….and the word that needs to come out is NNNNNOOOO.” Thankfully, the more we say it, the easier it gets!)
And then: WHAM. Reality sets in and we realize we’ve spread ourselves way too thin. We can’t keep all the balls in the air. We get tired…..and then we freak out because we don’t know how we’re going to get everything done.
If I sound like I know what I’m talking about, it’s because I do.
I know what it feels like to have given my GOOD STUFF to the world all day long and by the time I get home to my family, I have to feed them cold, crappy LEFTOVERS.
I don’t know about you, but I personally don’t like feeding the people I love most in the world (and gave birth to) a bunch of cold, crappy leftovers. I want to give them the best of me.
And, on top of that, I don’t want to be spread so thin that I’m BAT-POOP-CRAZY, either. At my house, if Mamma aint’ happy , ain’t nobody happy. That’s just a sad fact and maybe it’s that way at your house as well. Seems to me that’s just how it is, like it or not. Here is where the freedom of becoming a 3-ingredient Wife comes in!
Here’s how it works:
You go to your Hubster with a blank 4 x 6 index card .
You explain to him that you often get overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done. Let him know you really want to make sure that what he wants/needs from you is priority and on your radar screen.
Ask him to give some thought to your request and to come up with the top three things that are most important to him and to write them on the card for you. These three things are what will equip you to become a 3-Ingredient wife!
As an example, here’s the 3-Ingredient list I got from BDP: 1. Do chores with me. I like it when you come up to the barn and just hang with me. 2. Cook good food for the boys to have available in the fridge when they come home hungry. 3. Take time for yourself. (I knew that he sincerely meant this for my well being, but it was also his way of saying that he likes it when I take the time to do the things that help me look good for him.)
Be patient when you give your Hubster the index card and ask him to do this. It may take him awhile to prioritize what’s really important to him.
On those days when we can’t get everything done like we’d like, we can put our focus on the 3-Ingredients that matter most to our husbands. And realize there will be days you can’t accomplish all three – that’s OK! It’s still putting their needs as our highest priority.
Now You’re Cookin’,
This post originally aired on Periscope ChefAlli@maketakebake in January 2016.