I don’t know about you, but at the top of my resolution list this year, I wanna make sure that my MARRIAGE is strong, vibrant, and healthy! As the foundation of the family, the relationship between a husband and wife is Number ONE, but it’s so easy over the years to let other things creep in to that number one priority position. We have to work hard to fight for our marriages! So I’ve shared 16 New Years Resolutions below that can help make our marriages stronger than ever!
16 resolutions that I want to make sure we work on in our marriage in 2016!:
- Cook at least one meal together each week. Must include music, tastings, and dancing around the kitchen, followed by sitting down at the table to enjoy the meal T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R.
- Whenever you can, be sure to give your spouse a very good reason to to get back home quickly! This may involve copping a feel, laying on a nice, long kiss, or quick sexts throughout the day so your spouse knows without a doubt that you are thinking of them. I always tell BDP that “It’s my job to make you good and miserable….I want you to remember where that came from and why!”
- Do chores together at least once a week. For us, this means that I’ll help feed cows, and Pat will help me put laundry away or get groceries. This gives each of us a better feel for what our spouse’s daily rituals are for managing what needs to get done around the farm and in our household. **Wives Please Note: Both #1 and #3 provide GREAT Shoulder-2-Shoulder time with our Hubsters!
- Do at least one thing each month that speaks your spouse’s LOVE LANGUAGE. My love language is Acts of Service, so when Pat intentionally keeps my car filled with gas, it also keeps my LOVE TANK full as well! For more information on love languages, read Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, and take the Love Language test.
- Express gratitude and appreciation to your spouse at least weekly for something you know they take pride in doing. Pat works hard for our family, so this is where I try to make certain he knows I recognize this and I am very thankful that he gets up everyday and goes to work.
- Pray together for just a few minutes every, single day. And, if you can, pray together out loud. We try to do this first thing in the morning, just before Pat leaves for work, and it has given me more insight into my husband than I ever would have dreamed!
- Make a commitment to communication. This is key to every successful marriage and sometimes the most difficult thing to do, especially when one of us gets angry or has hurt feelings. Promise each other that you’ll stay in the discussion until both parties have a better understanding of the other and their perspective.
- Make date nights a priority by putting them on the calendar, just like any other appointment. We don’t just go to the doctor by happen stance, do we? If we can make arrangements to coordinate other important appointments, we’ve got to make sure we prioritize date night by doing the same thing – get it on the calendar so your family can see how important it is. This will also make your spouse feel like a priority!
- Hug each other every day for at least 1 minute. It’s really, really difficult to stay mad or irritated at that Someone Special when you’ve got your arms around them. 🙂
- Seek out a mentor couple. They will never be perfect, but if they’ve been married for several years and it’s obvious they put a twinkle in each other’s eye, ask if you can spend time with them to learn their secret. This is especially helpful if you are having troubles or facing challenges in your marriage!
- As corny and trite as it sounds, the couple that PLAYS together, STAYS together. Remind yourself that marriage is a life long DATE. Sometimes it will be great, sometimes it will totally suck……but we CHOOSE our actions and re-actions, if we WANT to. Choosing to have fun with each other and to be happy, no matter the situation, makes a big difference in the atmosphere of our marriage relationship because it ultimately says: I choose YOU.
- Smile at your spouse openly, often, and from your heart. Smiling is a gift and when we freely give that to our mate it tells them “I’m happy we are married; I’m happy to be your spouse.”
- Spend some time driving the back roads! When I can get in a pickup with any one of the guys in my family, I find it’s the best time spent EVER. This goes back to that Shoulder-2-Shoulder time I mentioned earlier here – this is what allows for good conversations with our men. Don’t believe me? Test me on it.
- Cultivate a servant’s heart. Ask your spouse what you can do for them each day, then follow through. One thing, done intentionally, can be a total game-changer in marriage. How do I know? Pat has been making our bed every morn for the past couple of years and it has completely revolutionized my morning routine. One thing, done consistently, can make our spouse’s heart so GRATEFUL.
- Sleep naked. Do I really need to explain this one?
- Learn to speak your spouse’s mother tongue. For husbands, that would be the language of RESPECT. For wives, it’s the language of LOVE. If you’re like me and need more info on this marriage and life-changing book and ministry, go here. You’ll never look back.
It’s said that written goals, posted where we can review them consistently throughout the year, are 40% more likely to be achieved. Therefore, if we’d like our resolutions to become achieved goals, it only makes sense that we get them written out and placed where they can be an effective reminder of what we desire to accomplish. So write them out. Stick them on your mirror. Set them as reminders in your calendar. Whatever. It. Takes! Make 2016 your best marriage year yet!
Now You’re Cookin’,
This post originally aired on Periscope ChefAlli@maketakebake in January 2016.